i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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