Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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