im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
