Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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