After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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