There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
