Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
