come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize