I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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