And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
