take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
