i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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