I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
