Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
