if i died would you start the facebook group?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize