Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize