Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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