have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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