And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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