I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
