Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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