"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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