bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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