Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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