Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
