When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
