My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
