Pregnant stripper...not hot.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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