her vagina looked like bernie madoff
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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