We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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