just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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