This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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