Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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