it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
