The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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