before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
