Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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