I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ttyl tear gas
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Is Oprah even human
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
