ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
