She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
