If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
