Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
