Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
soo... how was my night?
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