No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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