Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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