did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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