make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
