I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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