i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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