Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize