Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
