at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
