was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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