So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How's work?
Spinning.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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