I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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