STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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