Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
