Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
