he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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