dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
