People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize