She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
