We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Are we still banned from the library?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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