Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
