My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
