If that was your dad, he is hot
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
