another moral hangover. fuck.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
