Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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