If i come over, it means nothing
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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