I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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